Thank you for telling us your story at this difficult time. I am impressed by a phrase of yours, which is like the leitmotiv of your life...
Yes, a phrase that gives me strength: Announce that the Lord has had mercy on you!
Something that resonates in your life now more than ever.
Yes, and not only because of what I am today, a religious brother in temporary vows in the Institute of the Servants of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, but because of the general story of my life from my childhood until now, that I suffer from coronavirus. What does coronavirus and God have to do with it?
And how do you explain your phrase: "The Lord has had mercy on you", with this disease that has affected you, your community and thousands of people around the world?
In life, most situations cannot be foreseen, such as this deadly virus that has affected so many people. Several members of my community are positive. Thank God, among us, the disease state is mild and others like me are asymptomatic.
In spite of this, we are obliged to strict quarantine and isolation to avoid infecting other members of the community, especially the elders. Some of my confreres, who do not have Covid-19, are committing themselves with great generosity to serve us.
Despite the discomforts of isolation, this time is proving to be a time of Grace. The coronavirus has united me to God.
Why do you think it is a moment of Grace?
First of all, I believe it is the way in which the Lord has asked us to offer a sacrifice for to be close to many people who die alone, away from their loved ones and the sacraments. The coronavirus allows to deepen the relationship with God.
Loneliness has led me to reflect a lot on how the rush of life led me to neglect the essential, the beauty of doing everything for the love of God, to know him more deeply and to make him known.
The solitude has provided me to rethink my life and God's action in it. Yes, I am having a lot of time to remember important moments with the Lord. God acts this way in the face of the coronavirus.
In addition, I believe it is also important to take advantage of technological means to stay close to all the people we know and who we know are experiencing the burden of loneliness or an illness situation, by showing them our closeness in spite of the distance, with these means but above all through prayer and offering sacrifices.
Interesting that you are delving into the movie of your life.
Yes! And a movie where the protagonists are the Lord and me..., well, Him more than me, since it is the Lord who is the hero who has achieved so much in my life.
And each time I remember very clearly those words that Jesus pronounced after the deliverance of a possessed man: "Go home to your loved ones and tell them what the Lord has done for you and that he has had mercy on you" (Mark 5:19).
And what has the Lord done with you?
Many things, although my life is the common life of most of the kids from the south of Italy, in particular from the province of Lecce, in Puglia, a wonderful land with beaches known as the "Lecce beaches". Maldives from ItalyHe went to the beach, studied, played soccer and frequented the parish church dedicated to Our Lady of the Rosary.
However, like many young people, he went to church only out of habit, without any real awareness of the sacraments, but only to fulfill the task of going to Mass on feast days.
Punta Prosciutto beach in the province of Lecce, Puglia.
Something very common in Italy, where everybody is Catholic by culture and custom...
Of course, but very few people think about what it means to have Jesus in their lives. I started to think about it when I was 13 years old, when I began to attend a religious community near my town, a community of the Institute of which I am now a member.
One of the charisms of this community is to bring young people closer to the Lord through fun days, full of games and joy, but also accompanied by Holy Mass or moments of prayer.
I started to participate in these meetings where I used to have a great time, and I have to say that what won me over the most was to watch the joy of the seminarians the minor seminary, which were located in and encouraged these days. I began to frequent the campsites and, above all, to resume my Christian life and the sacraments.
I also felt the great desire to be happy like them, but I did not even think of becoming a religious or a priest: I had never thought about it.
In the end, did someone call you when you weren't expecting it?
That's right! And it was through a priest who invited me to the sacrament of confessiona sacrament I had not received in a long time. At the end of confession, that priest, perhaps inspired by the Lord, asked me if I wanted to have a seminary experience.
To tell the truth, at that moment I didn't even know what the seminary was, I only knew that those guys who had impacted me so much by their joy lived there, and immediately, without understanding the reason, and even now I can't explain the immediacy of that answer, I said yes, I wanted to try.
A story of love and light, but also a journey through much darkness, as St. John of the Cross would say.
After a trial period in the seminary, over time I felt more and more strongly that life with Jesus was basically what I wanted, but above all I perceived that it was what the Lord wanted from me.
However, the greatest grace of my life was not entering the seminary, but returning to the arms of my father after escaping from him.
Time went by and my journey continued towards the novitiate: ten years had already passed, but unfortunately my relationship with God was had become a formal relationship: I was doing everything that had to be done, but not out of love for God but so that I could feel righteous before Him, so that I would deserve His love.
As in the parable of the prodigal son: from being the younger son returning to his father's house, to feeling like the elder son.
Yes, that's right: basically, it was as if, in my mind, I knew well that God loved me, but in reality it was as if I considered him more of a judge, or a master, or a master with his servants.
There was an idea, a very strong thought, perhaps not completely conscious, but deeply rooted in me, that if I had not been perfect, God would not have given me His love, as if He only loves us if we are just and perfect.
This way of thinking was taking deeper and deeper roots in me, so much so that it became a burden. Everything had become unbearable: I acted as if I wanted to save myself with my right works, and consequently, after beginning the novitiate, also on the advice of the formators, I decided to return home.
Needless to say how great my disappointment with God was, along with great anger. I said to God, "I have served you for many years, I have always done what you wanted and for you I have sacrificed the best years of my life and you treat me like this, leaving me disappointed and unhappy. And you know what? Up to now you have decided it, from now on I will decide it!".
You went back to being the youngest son...
Yes, exactly. I started to live doing my projects, to work with my father and to plan my future life: I wanted to start studying to be a literature teacher, to find a girl, to have fun with my friends.
The disappointment and anger were so strong that I no longer had the slightest intention of thinking about religious or priestly life. At that time I met several friends, I began to devote myself to various activities, but now I realize that everything was really animated by a great selfishness.
After all, I wanted to close an emptiness that I carried inside, and here we come to the greatest graces I have received that have really shown me who God is and how He loves us.
What happened?
Once again, God used good instruments in his hands: two priests in particular. To them I owe my vocation and even today I am very grateful to them: they are Father Andrea Berti and a holy priest who died almost two years ago. Father Andrea invited me to spend a few days in one of our communities in Fatima, so that Our Lady could help me.
Obviously, was not at all interested in making a pilgrimage, but the Lord knew how to take advantage of my pride. In fact, I went to show God that until then I had been right with Him, I had been just, and that in reality it was He who was wrong with me.
What happened is that, even though I wanted with all my heart to leave there as soon as possible and return to my home and my life, I stayed there for three months!
Now I think that my decision to stay there seems absurd. What happened is that they needed someone to work in a religious objects store in Fatima and Father Andrea thought of me.
I think it was something inspired by God, especially because I didn't know anything about Portuguese and I was already packed to go back home and resume my studies.
But I accepted and so, at that time, without my realizing it, I regained my trust in God.. If I think about how good He is... I was convinced that the Lord promised happiness, but in reality He was happy to see us suffer. During my time in Fatima, I also rediscovered the beauty of dedicating myself to helping others, and I became closer to prayer.
Everything, everything God did with me was good and I experienced how God's love is completely free.
But the most surprising thing is that it all happened while I was not only treating Him with coldness and indifference, but also those whom He had sent into my life to show me His love, namely the two priests whom I have already mentioned, who were truly angels sent by the Lord.
What impressed you most about those two priests?
I saw in them a paternal closeness with the sole intention of helping me. They prayed and sacrificed for me, they were constantly close to me, they often came to visit me, and they also offered me financial help to be able to undertake the studies I wanted to begin....
And they didn't do it out of personal or congregational interest, or so that I would return to the seminary...No, they did it for me, they never got tired of me and they never abandoned me. Many other people prayed for me.
And when did you decide to resume seminary life?
Just after returning from Fatima, and at the moment I made this decision, I experienced a great peace and a great gratitude.
I discovered that He left me free to choose the life I had chosen for myself: a selfish life that would surely lead me to try to fill the emptiness I had far from God and in sin.
Thanks to these two priests, Gianni was able to learn more about the charism of the Servants of the Immaculate Heart of Mary Institute, a missionary institution of diocesan right of the Diocese of Rome.
His spirituality is based directly on the spirituality of Fatima: Marian devotion through the prayer of the Rosary, a renewed call to penance and sacramental life and above all a great love for the Eucharist and Reconciliation, through the spirit of reparation.
It consists in offering our life in union with the Sacrifice of Christ to console the Hearts of Jesus and Mary and for the salvation of poor sinners, following the example of the three little shepherds to whom the Blessed Virgin appeared at Fatima.
Priests, religious and lay people live within the Movement of the Family of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, all united by bonds of communion and mission, sharing the same spirituality among the different communities.
Each one is committed to personal sanctification and to the sanctification of others. His motto is: "Through my immaculate heart bring Christ to the world".
The members of this Institute have chosen to study in the Pontifical University of the Holy Cross.
"Thanks to the help of CARFthat supports all of us religious of the Pontifical University of the Holy Cross in Romewe can take advantage of a training excellent in a family environment and even now, with this emergency, we feel very cared for, as we can follow the classes via internet and video and the teachers call us often to know how we are doing.
So I can truly say that this very serious and difficult moment is proving to be a good time for study and for rediscovering in our religious life the grace of community life, which in this period is very limited: the beauty of praying together, of sharing the journey towards God and the mission He has entrusted to us. The coronavirus has brought me closer to God," Gianni concludes.
Interview by Gerardo Ferrara
Gianni Schido with his family.
Gerardo Ferrara
BA in History and Political Science, specializing in the Middle East.
Responsible for the student body
University of the Holy Cross in Rome
