Riccardo Dimida tells us how he found his religious vocation as a priest through the grace of God acting in him through small gestures.

It belongs to the Instituto de los Servants of the Immaculate Heart of Marya religious community - or association of the faithful - that centers its spirituality on love and reparation to the Immaculate Heart of Mary, in deep communion with the Heart of Jesus. Although there are several communities with similar names in different countries, they all share common elements in their identity and charism.

At present, all the young people of this community are being formed in Rome, at the Pontifical University of the Holy Cross (PUSC), thanks to grants funded by the CARF Foundation.

Riccardo was born on September 18, 1985 in Volterra, an ancient city of Etruscan origin located in the region of Tuscany, Italy. He is currently in his second year of philosophy, before beginning his bachelor's degree in theology next year. He tells us his story through his testimony.

From a serene childhood to the discovery of a religious vocation

"I was born into a Catholic family that gave me a healthy upbringing and an admirable example. My parents have always been morally blameless people, and they encouraged me to receive a Catholic formation. I grew up in a small village in Tuscany, enjoying a happy and carefree childhood.

After receiving Confirmation, I joined the activities of Catholic Action, where I remained until I was over 30 years old, organizing camps, pilgrimages and leading groups of teenagers and young people.

After high school I entered university, and there I began to discover the world in all its breadth and diversity, something unknown to me as a small-town boy. University life can be very stimulating - sometimes even too much so - and, in fact, I expanded my social circles and friendships.

I participated in student representation groups and in many other activities, some more academic than others. I say "more or less" because, among so many educational and personal development proposals, there is always some unexpected risk. So it happened that, in the first years, the time dedicated to study was scarce. On the other hand, I devoted many hours to all kinds of activities.

I have been playing the guitar since I was 15 years old, an instrument I have always been passionate about. I have been volunteering since I was 17, and I played in my town's basketball team from the age of 7 until I was 25. In addition, I practiced swimming, athletics, indoor soccer and hiking. I have always been attracted to learning languages and getting to know other cultures, and of course, meeting new people and experiences".

Riccardo went to university and there he began his 'exploration' of the world.

"In all this great web of interests and associated amusements, I had the opportunity to live many, many experiences. Unfortunately, not all of them were positive or uplifting: the parties, the friends, the concerts....

The trips -very frequent- gave me the opportunity to transgress the rules, to always step on the accelerator in the search for pleasure and strong emotions.

Those were very intense years at the university, also because, at the same time, I never stopped attending Sunday Mass, participated in pilgrimages and prayer meetings, and collaborated in the diocesan organization of Catholic Action, where I even had organizational roles and responsibilities.

Obviously, what I suffered the most was the study. All this was possible thanks to the energy of my early youth (today I am 39 years old) and the enthusiasm to discover the world and to discover myself.

Inside me it was all a great mix of good principles, though never truly deepened. I wanted my good and the good of others, but I also wanted to enjoy the pleasures of life, and I wanted all of that to happen as much as possible. It was as if I lived one life by day and another by night, trying not to leave anything to experience.

I remember that many times, in spite of coming home very late on a Saturday night (or very early on Sunday morning...), even with little sleep, I still went to Sunday Mass. Anything could happen, but I couldn't stop going to Mass; it was like a card I had to punch at all costs.

At one point, I realized that not everything was going well. I understood that there was a "better way" to do things. I had faith, yes, but I was not living it fully. I remember a friend, with whom I shared much of my faith journey, made me reflect on the fact that abortion is never acceptable, whereas I was convinced that in certain cases it was.

With that realization, something was ignited in me that, since then, has functioned as a true paradigm of life: I understood that there were things that had to be assumed completely or not assumed at all.

I then committed myself to finish my studies and to make the most of them. I started working as a waiter and tutoring math and English in order to support myself during my studies".

A search for meaning in the midst of studies and inner struggle

"After obtaining my bachelor's degree, I started my master's degree and won two scholarships that took me, first, six months in Antwerp (Belgium), and the following year, another six months in Mexico City, at the National Autonomous University of Mexico.

They were two important, intense, eventful experiences that involved me both intellectually and emotionally. I took with me from Mexico a strong emotional wound that had consequences for many years to come.

With today's eyes, I realize that it was a great battle that I fought to fulfill my duty as a student abroad. without getting lost in the many, many occasions of debauchery, trying to make the luminous part of me prevail over the dark one.

In those last years, until I obtained my master's degree with the highest qualification, I became much more aware of myself, of the world and of the good and evil that inhabit it. My behavior, both interior and exterior, was contrasting and conflicting, but I still tried to do good, to be close to God or, at least, to return to Him for forgiveness in spite of frequent falls.

After the title, started working as a receptionist in a hotelAfter a year I decided to open a small company together with other partners. We were dedicated to LED lighting, automation and energy saving.

This initiative marked me deeply, as it demanded from me a great commitment, enormous efforts and the assumption of important risks, including economic ones. Although at the beginning it started with enthusiasm and drive - coinciding with the great diffusion of LED lighting in Italy in those years - it soon turned into a whirlwind of difficulties and disappointments.

Also one of the founding partners died of leukemia.with whom I had a very close bond. The subject of illness, and in particular cancer, also entered my family in those years and, since then, it has not left us. To this day, thank God, we are still fighting, living miracle after miracle.

That period, from my master's degree to my work in the company, was for me a source of great physical and psychological stress. It was a very dark period, marked by a work environment that constantly put me in critical situations, while I tried to relieve the stress through toxic behaviors, both towards myself and in my relationship with others.

It is true that a few years earlier I had begun a serious journey of conversion, but my nightlife was still present and I had not yet hit bottom. I couldn't sleep, I had lost weight, and I was living everything in a deeply negative way".

Spiritual paths to your religious vocation

"In my spiritual journey, as the years went by, I moved away a little bit from the Catholic Action and spent time in Communion and Liberation. Subsequently, I approached the atmosphere of the Mass in the ancient rite (Vetus Ordo), which deeply helped me to live the liturgy and the sacraments in a more serious and committed way.

Above all, it allowed me to deepen the doctrinal aspect of the faith: in the truths that we profess as Catholics and in the principles that sustain our religion. It was a fundamental step in my life, since, on the one hand, it accentuated the volitional and demanding character of my faith, but on the other, it laid the solid rational foundations on which my adherence to it rested.

The big step forward came when I hit rock bottom. I was in a deep work and personal crisis: alone, defeated, unable to sleep, increasingly aggressive towards others and myself.

Changing the center of life

"Until then, my relationship with God was like an exchange: I complied and He rewarded me. I had visited many shrines - Lourdes, the Holy Land, Montenegro... - but God took a back seat, and I was the protagonist. Everything revolved around "my effort", "my merit".

In 2018 I found a good job that gave me stability and led me to think seriously about starting a family, fully aware of the difficulties that this implies today for a Catholic.

Then came the COVID years, which caused me much suffering and bitterness because of the way many people reacted: with fear, selfishness and coldness. I lived under great stress and with no clear direction.

In 2021 I made a pilgrimage to Mount Athos with some friends. The sacredness of that place had a profound impact on me, to the point of briefly shaking my faith. In September of the same year I went to Lourdes and prayed fervently to find a spiritual director. A month later, a nun took me to a priest of the Institute, and I finally found the guidance I had longed for.

Consecration and new stage

In June 2022, I consecrated myself to the Blessed Mother as a lay member of the Immaculate Heart of Mary Family Movement. Discernment continued, with difficulties, yes, but also with firmness. Finally, in October 2023 I took a leave of absence, and in October 2024 I officially left my job. There are no more "signings" to mark.

Discernment continues, and, as with people, I believe that we never fully know ourselves or God. Today I am in Rome, thanks to Providence, living in a religious institute and studying at the Pontifical University of the Holy Cross.

God's grace acts even through the smallest gestures: a Rosary prayed half asleep, an improvised pilgrimage, a donation. He alone knows the extent of this charity. And it is better this way than to keep on signing up.

Thanks to the benefactors

I want to express my gratitude to all those people I met along the way who literally saved me. Our Lady, inevitably, always led me to Jesus. A special thanks goes to the benefactors of the CARF Foundation, instruments of Providence in the formation of all of us, the Servants of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. May God bless you always!".

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Gerardo Ferrara, Degree in History and Political Science, specialized in the Middle East. Head of the student body at the University of the Holy Cross in Rome.