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CARF Foundation

7 July, 21

Renewal of marriage vows: how to do it?

To renew the Catholic marriage vows is to confirm and reaffirm the oath of eternal love, respect and fidelity already made during the sacrament of marriage before God.

Marriage is reminiscent of a lifelong committed journey. Where perseverance, respect, generosity, patience and above all love, will be fundamental to reach the goal. The grace and strength conferred by the sacrament of Catholic marriage is key in the insistence and persistence of married life.

What are marriage vows?

"The wife and the husband are not alone; Jesus accompanies them". Getting married and sharing life is a beautiful thing. It is a committed journey, sometimes difficult, sometimes complicated, but it is worth the encouragement. And in this lifelong journey, the wife and husband are not alone; they are accompanied by Jesus." Pope Francis, Catechesis 02/06/2021

The marriage vows are the promises made during the sacrament of marriage. God has willed the project of each and every marriage. They represent the will to be united in respect and love, even in the most adverse circumstances.

What are the Catholic marriage vows?

There are three vows to which the bride and groom commit themselves in the ceremony to receive the sacrament of marriage:

Fidelity

"It is necessary to restore social honor to the fidelity of love, knowing that man's fidelity to the promise always depends on the grace and mercy of God, and that the bond created by love or friendship is beautiful and never destroys freedom. On the contrary, freedom and fidelity sustain each other in both interpersonal and social relationships." Papa francisco, Catechesis 21/10/2015

Perpetual Love

All love tends to expand, it is spiritually and materially fertile. Sterility has never been an attribute of love. It is neither stingy nor stingy; the measure of love is to love without measure, said St. Augustine.

Respect

Mature men and women know how to practice, with common sense, respect for each other's autonomy and personality. Moreover, each lives the life of the other as his own. In this sense, the expression "one flesh

"Marriage on trial? How little he knows about love who talks like that! Love is a more secure, more real, more human reality. Something that cannot be treated as a commercial product, to be experienced and then accepted or discarded, according to whim, comfort or interest." St. Josemaría, Conversations, 105

Renewal of marriage vows

The renewal of the marriage vows is an everyday thing, but, like everything in life, it needs a concrete expression, some formulas, some words, a place.

It is in today's marriage that we can pray as Jesus asked us to pray "in spirit and in truth". Renewing the vows made in the sacrament of marriage requires that interior disposition of present self-giving which is more important than the exterior.

For this reason, marriage renewal can begin with a special day of spiritual retreat where the main focus is on dialogue with the couple and with God. It can be led by a spiritual director or a priest.

Another fundamental part is the celebration of the Holy Mass in which they will renew their marriage promises.

When it comes to renewing our marriage vows, as Christians we know that we have been chosen for this vocation and God has placed the right person in our lives to fulfill this vocation.

The importance of renewing marriage vows

Living in grace is fundamental for Christian marriage to remain fruitful in the broad sense. Therefore, a purpose for the future of any couple should be to care for the life of union with God, the life of grace.

That is where trust comes from, trust not in our own strength but in the fact that the same One who chose them and cared for them until this day will keep them until "death do them part".

The renewal of the marriage vows is based on three verbs, that of reflecting, dialoguing and projecting. It is not to get married again, because that would not be possible, but to renew the marriage vows as a sign, as a sign that there is indeed in us the effort, the interest to go forward on this path.

When to celebrate the renewal of Catholic marriage vows?

Holy Mass for the renewal of Catholic wedding vows can be celebrated at any auspicious time for the couple. But the most common is celebrating at 25 or 50 years of marriage, when it is the silver and golden wedding anniversary.

The sacrament of marriage is a gift that God has given us. It is a grace that grows and enriches our life to the extent that we cultivate it and are faithful to it.

"Marriage is not just a "social" act; it is a vocation that comes from the heart, it is a conscious decision for life that needs specific preparation. Please, never forget this. God has a dream for us, love, and He asks us to make it ours. Let us make love our own, which is God's dream." Pope Francis

How to renew the wedding vows?

We want to renew our will to follow the path of marital holiness to which we have been called, and also to thank the Lord for the gifts that he has given us as a couple and as a family through this sacrament.

The celebration of Holy Mass is the best way to pronounce our wedding vows. We will do so before God and before our loved ones. Because, we want to renew our commitment as spouses and as parents; to renew ourselves in Jesus Christ our Lord, from the depths of our hearts in our love and in our mission.

A part of the Mass We will express our commitment to strive for our marital holiness in order to contribute to the renewal of vows.

We implore the Holy Spirit to make the richness of the sacrament of marriage fruitful within our families.

We pray that we may be transparent of God's love for our children. That as a married couple we may embody and prolong this deep love of Christ for his Church.

What are the steps to follow to renew wedding vows at Holy Mass?

Renewal can be expressed in a personal way during the celebration of the Eucharist or in a public way guided by the priest.

  • Priest: Are you willing to renew your marriage vows on this occasion?
  • Both: Yes, we are willing.
  • Priest: To the Bridegroom Do you want to renew your total dedication to your bride by receiving her in the same way and, with the help of the Holy Spirit, promise her fidelity in good times and in bad, and thus love and respect her as Christ does his Church, for the rest of your life?
  • Husband: Yes, I do.
  • Priest: To the Bride: Do you want to renew your total surrender to your husband by receiving him in the same way and, with the help of the Holy Spirit, promise them fidelity in good times and in bad, and thus love and respect them as Christ does his Church, for the rest of your life?
  • Wife: Yes, I do.
  • Priest: May God, who united the first couple in Paradise, confirm and bless this consent in Christ, so that what He Himself has united may not be separated by man.
  • Both: We ask you to help us to keep faithfully our love for one another, so that we may be faithful witnesses of the covenant you have established with mankind.

Readings for Renewal of Wedding Vows

Some appropriate Bible readings to read during the liturgy of the word of the Holy Mass of renewal of vows may include:

  • Genesis 1:27
  • Mark 10:6-8
  • Ephesians 5:21-28
  • Philippians 2:1-5
  • 1 Corinthians 13:1-7
  • Revelation 19:6-9
  • 1Peter 3:7-8

The importance of Catholic marriage vows in family life

The foundations of the Christian family arise from the marital union. Married life must be renewed every day. Pope Francis says "...I prefer wrinkled families, with wounds, with scars, but that continue to walk, because those wounds, those scars, those wrinkles are the fruit of the fidelity of a love that was not always easy for them. Love is not easy; it is not easy, no, but it is the most beautiful thing that a man and a woman can give each other, true love, for life." Meeting with families in Mexico 2016

The secret of love is to want the other to be happy. In this way, the marital relationship and the education of children is built on the solid foundation of devotion.

And at the end of the days, in old age, alone again as when you started on this journey, leaning on God as on the first day. Because they have taken care of these small details that have woven the tapestry of a marriage united in faith.

Prayer for the family

Jesus, Mary and Joseph
in you we contemplate
the splendor of true love,
to you, with confidence, we turn.
Holy Family of Nazareth,
also make our families
place of communion and cenacle of prayer,
authentic schools of the Gospel
and small domestic churches.
Holy Family of Nazareth,
that there will never again be episodes in families
of violence, closed-mindedness and division;
that whoever has been injured or scandalized
be soon comforted and healed.
Holy Family of Nazareth,
that the forthcoming Synod of Bishops
to raise everyone's awareness
of the sacred and inviolable character of the family,
of its beauty in God's plan.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph,
hear, receive our plea.
Amen

With the collaboration of:

OpusDei.com
Vatican News

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